THE HISS & THE THUD

Mothers always love me,

but fathers never do.

Because they know my secret,

because they know the truth,

because they’ve seen every inch of what a boy can do.

 

I want the nice boys to love me.

I want the nice boys to hate me.

I want the nice boys to reach out,

to touch me,

to know me.

 

I want them to take me home.

I want to meet their parents

I want to weave my way into their lives,

like a parasite.

Like an infection.

 

Here I am, here I am.

All you were to me was another score on the board.

Here I am, with a hiss, with a thud.

The mess you made has finally come undone.

 

 

My Father is a runner.

My Mother likes to hide.

And My Brother likes to think

That we can’t see in between

All of his lies.

 

Lonely people love me.

This I know is true.

Whether it’s grandparents, stoners,

Or the man down the street

Who only wants to screw.

 

Am I the son he never had?

Am I the Brother he always hated?

Or, am I the Father who never loved him

Who always abused

And degraded?

 

Here I am, here I am.

My Father’s baby boy. My daddy’s little whore.

Here I am, with a hiss, with a thud.

The mess you made has finally come undone.

 

 

Sometimes I feel like

the living breathing epitome of ennui

Trapped in my own existential hell.

My only company are the mirrors reflection,

and the ghosts on TV.

 

Staring at the boy across from me.

The one who looks, walks, and talks like me.

I study every line, and find no sanity.

Watching as the last traces of my mentality

Drip out from the back of my brain, and finally escape me.

 

Now I just lay here shouting

“YAS QUEEN! YAS QUEEN!”

At the grim reaper

As that harbinger of death

Comes tap tap tapping at my door.

 

Here I am, here I am.

I’m just another fucking stain on this rental house floor.

Here I am, with a hiss, with a thud.

The mess you made has finally come undone.

Autosave-File vom d-lab2/3 der AgfaPhoto GmbH
Autosave-File vom d-lab2/3 der AgfaPhoto GmbH

SPEEDPOETS

On Saturday, I read one of my poems at SpeedPoets. It was the first time I’ve read anything I’ve written in front of a group of complete strangers.

The experience was more than a little bit nerve-wracking. But, going to something like SpeedPoets reminds me of how much great local talent Brisbane has to offer.

Basically, I felt inferior compared to some of the very, very talented people there. But, that isn’t going to stop me from doing my own thing, and going back again next month.

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